I had a meeting with a church leader the other day who told me, with a bit of hesitation, that, after almost ten years at their current church they were out. For good. 

They had felt the call, they had done good ministry, but the church had changed, the denomination had changed, the community had changed, they had changed, and they were done. I asked if they were going to another congregation but I knew the answer before they said it. I had seen burnout before. They were out. 

I was sad for them, but I also knew their new path could offer a breath of fresh air, I knew that as hard as the leaving is, its not the final chapter of the story. I looked at them and said.

“You know it doesn’t have to feel like this. There’s work out there and ways to follow what God has put on your heart that don’t have to cost you so much.” 

As pastors and church leaders and Christians, we are taught the value and sanctify sacrificing ourselves, that real love means being willing to lay our lives down for one another. And that is true, and good. The work of ministry places a high call on us, and one of the things it asks for is sacrifice. We do willingly make sacrifices: in paycheck, in lifestyle, in cushy offices and nice perks, and in emotional energy, in parts of our hearts offered openly to those who Jesus has placed in front of us. 

I would argue that those sacrifices can be holy, parts of ourselves laid willingly at the feet of Jesus. Sacrifice is real, and can teach us, and draw us closer to God. Also – suffering is not a virtue in its own sake, and there are things that we can be asked to sacrifice that are not ours to give away, and which are not things God would call us to. 

Sacrifice by pouring your heart out, sacrifice by turning away from luxury, those things sound like sacrifices God might call us to. But the sacrifice of our faith? Our values? Our families? Our sense of joy in the Lord? 

As I told my friend, “It doesn’t have to feel like this.” 

My hope is that no pastor reading this has any idea what I’m talking about. I know I have worked with many leaders in churches that challenge them, frustrate them, and annoy them, but which they know are pockets of God’s life-giving, joy-filled community, and which they feel honored to serve. 

I also know leaders who have worked at churches that they described as “meat grinders.” Another one I’ve heard is “cheese grater to the soul.” There is a kind of sacrifice asked of church leaders that leaves them resentful, burnt out, and empty. There is a sacrifice of those things that were only God’s that leaves pastors wondering if they misheard the call, or if there was anyone out there even calling at all. 

We’re going to spend the next couple of weeks, these last few of Lent, digging into these dynamics a little bit. But I want to say this first: it is normal to make some sacrifices for the career that you love, but if you feel like your ministry is costing you those things that God has gifted you with for ministry – your faith, your joy, your self-esteem, your compassion – then its not just permissible to make a change, it’s actually an act of grace.

If you want to talk, reach out to us (or to me – kat@ministryincubators.com).