My children picked out a book at the library in which a monkey, Bobo, and a dog, Pup-Pup, find a coconut and attempt to “hatch” it. Bobo reasons that since it is brown and fuzzy, it must be a bear egg, and after getting advice from some birds, try to hatch it on their own. The “bear egg” (coconut) isn’t hatching, so they set out a tub of honey next to it to try to get the “baby bear” inside to want to hatch. They fall asleep, and the smell of the honey lures two actual baby bears from the forest, who, in trying to get the honey, knock over the nest and smash the coconut. The sound wakes Bobo and Pup-Pup, who are delighted to find that they have “hatched” not one, but two baby bears!

The bears eat the honey and scamper on their way, and Bobo and Pup-pup walk off into the sunset pleased with themselves and daydreaming about what animals they will hatch next (“An elephant!” “Or a hippopotamus!”).

I was thinking about Bobo and Pup-Pup and how those next attempts must have gone. Maybe they got lucky again and stumbled upon baby elephants or baby hippos. Maybe they worked at it for a while and gave up, reasoning that they are only good at hatching bears. Maybe they tried and tried to recreate the conditions that got their bears to hatch and got increasingly frustrated that they had lost their touch, that eggs were different now, or that one of them was doing something wrong. 

Maybe Bobo and Pup-pup don’t know nearly as much about the hatching of bears as they think they do. 

Organizations, particularly non-profit ones like the ones we lead, aren’t particularly good at knowing what makes them successful, and so they aren’t particularly good at predictably repeating that success. They all have had experiences of a specific small group, or service, or event where it felt like the Holy Spirit was at work, where meaningful experiences of growth and transformation took place, and where their organization felt alive. But what was the takeaway? Gratitude to God, clearly, but were there any efforts to identify what factors, forces, or decisions that might have made this different from all the other places they have asked the Holy Spirit to show up? Or do we all jump right to trying to hatch an elephant? 

Many of our organizations have some process for when something goes wrong, a way in which we can identify where we need to add more support or to make a change. We have enough vocal participants that we usually know when something is not working; I know I have gotten feedback on everything from donut flavors to font choice. But do we have a good way to capture and analyze feedback when things are working, and in a way that is more specific than “loved the service”?   

An old boss of mine once told me that he wanted to prioritize being more specific with positive feedback, which seemed odd until he tried it out on me regarding a sermon I had preached the week before. That feedback has stuck with me, and shaped how I think about my preaching in a much more profound way than the dozens of repetitions of “good message today!” that we have all received. 

I will be the first to admit that asking for specific, positive feedback sounds utterly humiliating, so I wonder if there are ways we can start to capture the insights we need without feeling like we’re fishing for compliments. 

Some ideas to consider: 

• Short madlib-style feedback forms, such as
  • Three words to describe our church are…
  • Church wouldn’t be Church without…
  • The one person who I think best encapsulates what we’re about is…
• A public, shared gratitude wall, with a particular invitation to children, who tend to give more direct, concrete feedback than adults
• A structured de-brief for your team after all major events, following a predictable, pre-written format.
• Recruit an outside observer who knows how churches work (a retired clergyperson, a classmate from seminary, etc) to act as an Undercover Congregant and have them take notes on what they notice. 

The point of these is not to get as much positive feedback as possible, but to get specific feedback on things that are working well and creating the space for the Holy Spirit to move. It might be the preaching or the music, but it might very well be the receptionist that knows everyone’s name and keeps candy in their desk, or the church pickleball league that has built a meaningful intergenerational community. 

That might be the jar of honey, not the all work you did setting up a nest and sitting on a coconut. Good luck with your bear-hatching, and let me know what you learn along the way.